Please, Cas
by timeladyinthelibrary
Summary: Dean Winchester had never been one to back for his life. But now he doesn't have a choice. Something's terribly wrong with Cas, and Dean needs to get him back. The crypt scene from Goodbye Stranger, written from Deans perspective, and more Destiel has been added (of course). Please review! :)


Please, Cas

Dean Winchester had never been one to beg for his life. He'd been on the verge of dying a lot of times- hell, he'd even legitimately died on several occasions. But he'd never begged.  
Begging was for people who didn't grow up a hunter.  
Begging was for people who didn't stare evil in the eye every single day.  
So, not even on his darkest days, had Dean Winchester expected to be begging for his life in a cold, dirty crypt.

They were on a search for the angel tablet. Dean was getting so, so tired of the tablets, with Sam getting sick from the trials and all, but they couldn't let Crowley get this one. They'd split up, leaving Sam with Meg, something Dean didn't feel that good about, but he didn't really had another choice.  
He looked at the man who was walking in front of him.  
There'd been a time where Dean had trusted Castiel completely, but that time wasn't now. Something was off with the angel, but Dean couldn't quite put a finger on it.

They were walking through the abandoned warehouse. Dean wouldn't be surprised if it turned out to host a ghost or two- it just was that kinda place. Eerie. They'd reached the basement, and Dean was shining his torch around, looking for any signs of tablet hiding places. He thought about what Cas had said outside about Sam, about him being damaged in ways even the angel couldn't heal, and decided to just ask him about it. He might not be trustworthy in other ways anymore, but he could at least answer this honestly.

"Hey, what did you mean back there about Sam?" Dean shone his flashlight over a wall that looked like it might collapse on itself if someone leaned against it. Freaking warehouse.  
"It's difficult to say. It's something on the subatomic level and his electromagnetic field-"  
Cas, as usual, was getting way too deep into things. Dean rolled his eyes at the angel's back.  
"Okay, bottom-line it for me, Bill Nye. Is it lethal?" Dean held his breath, afraid for what truth the answer might bring.  
"I don't know."

Dean exhaled. It was better than a certain death, right? They were walking through a dark corridor when Cas suddenly stopped.

"Wait," he said, standing still in front of a wall. He slowly moved his hand over it, sensing something Deans human hands wouldn't be able to feel.  
"There's a draft," Cas said. "There's something behind there. Stand back."  
Dean took a few steps back, as Cas placed his hand firmly against the wall, cracking it open with his angelic powers. It sometimes still struck Dean how powerful Cas was. Most of the time, when he was with him and Sam, he could almost seem… human. But now- not so much.

They entered what seemed like a crypt. It probably had been there for centuries, and it hadn't seen any light in all that time. The place was filled with dirt and dust, with cobwebs and mud. Cas was standing in the centre of the room, just watching, while Dean shone the flashlight around, looking for any signs of the tablet.  
"Dean…"  
Dean looked up to see Cas pointing at a small, wooden chest, hidden on a shelf at the other side of the crypt.  
"That's it," Cas said, sounding certain. Dean walked towards the chest.  
How did Cas know that was what they were looking for?  
"How did you know?"  
"It's the only thing in here warded against angels."  
Ah, Dean thought, of course. Freaking angels with their freaking angel powers. He picked up the small chest, that appeared to be heavier than he'd thought, and placed it on the stone table in the middle of the room. Cas stood there, watching him, probably unable to touch the damn thing.  
Dean sighed, and pulled out a small knife from his coat. He stuck it under the lid of the chest and managed to open it, revealing a large block of stone. Couldn't miss.  
"Winner winner, chicken dinner," Dean mumbled, smiling a little, happy they'd found the tablet so easily. That sure was an improvement.

"Good. Hand it to me, and I'll take it to Heaven," Cas told him.  
Dean froze. That wasn't the deal. He slowly looked up at Cas, who had a stern look on his face. Dean felt a jolt of fear in his stomach, but he sure as hell wasn't going to show it.  
"No, we will take it to Kevin, so he can translate." Dean held the stone firmly with both hands, taking a step back. It was silent for a few seconds, but then Cas answered.  
"Right, of course."  
Dean knew that voice. Cas was a bad liar.  
"I'll take it to him right away. No time to waste."  
Dean squinted his eyes a little, but tried not to show his discomfort with the way Cas wanted to handle things. Yet. Maybe they could still reason about this- but if Cas persuaded, Dean would be sure this wasn't the Cas he knew.  
"Well, he's not that far. I've been meaning to… go check on him, bring him some supplies," he lied smoothly.

Cas' eyes seemed to go glassy for a few seconds, but then he answered more urgently.  
"I can resupply the Prophet, Dean."  
Yeah, right. Dean took another step back, holding the block in his arms.  
"You know, why don't, uh, why don't Sam and I take it over to him, and you can get back to your mission? Finding the other half of the demon tablet. That's priority, isn't it?"  
He tried to keep his voice calm and steady, but he was starting to panic. This wasn't right. This wasn't Cas. Oh, if Dean only knew what was wrong, if Dean only knew how to help his friend.  
"I can't let you take that, Dean," Cas said, his voice sounding completely emotionless. The hairs on the back of Deans neck raised up. Definitely not Cas. He swallowed.  
"Can't or won't?" He looked Cas in the eyes.  
"Both," he replied.  
Dean didn't look away. He had to know what was happening to Cas. And Dean knew only one thing for sure- when it had started.  
"How did you get out of Purgatory, Cas?"

Cas' eyes seemed to lose focus again, but Dean wasn't going to let his question slip.  
"Just tell me how you got out of Purgatory. Be honest with me- for the first time since you've been back-" Deans voice trembled, but only just a little. Don't show him you're scared. Cas' face stayed blank, but Dean knew the angel better than anyone else, and he didn't miss the smallest hint of hurt in Cas' eyes. Was he still in there?  
"- and this is yours." Dean nodded towards the stone.  
He heard a small whooshing sound, like something slipping over a piece of cloth. Dean knew that sound, but he'd never thought he'd hear it in this situation. His eyes shot over to Cas' right hand, that was now holding his angel blade.

Panic swelled in Deans throat, and he spilled it out.  
"Cas. Cas, I don't know what the hell is wrong with you, but if you're in there and you can hear me, you don't have to do this." Dean tried to sound authoritative, but it wasn't working. Cas seemed like a robot, and raised his fist, the blade clenched in it. Dean held up the stone, blocking the attack, as the blade hit it hard.  
"Cas!"  
There were flashes of light, and the thunder was rumbling outside. Damn tablets, Dean thought.  
"Cas! Fight this! This is not you! FIGHT IT!" Dean sounded just plain scared now, as Cas tried to hit him again. Dean blocked the blow with the stone for a second time, and the thunder rumbled again, making the crypt shake.

Suddenly Cas' face moved in pain, his hands raising towards his eyes, his body bending double.  
"What have you done to me, Naomi?" He managed to spit out.  
Dean didn't understand- what was going on?  
"Who's Naomi?"  
Cas didn't answer, making small noises of pain, moving his lips too fast but no sound coming out. Wherever he was, it wasn't here with Dean. Dean got up, slowly, worry raising in his stomach. He put his hand on Cas' shoulder, who still seemed to be talking to the invisible Naomi.  
"Cas!" But before Dean could say anything, Cas backhanded him, throwing him back into a wall with a loud thud. Dean hit the concrete with full force, slamming every thought of his mind, and then fell to the floor.

Cas walked over to him, again all robot like, again not Cas at all, and started to attack once more. Dean lifted his fist to throw a punch, but Cas grabbed his forearm and broke it. Time seemed to freeze in that moment, as Dean felt those familiar fingers, the ones that had gripped him tight and raised him from perdition all those years ago, snap his bones. He screamed, dropping the stone, that was now laying shattered on the floor, revealing the tablet that it had been holding. The lightning flashed again, and the ground seemed to shake as hot white flashes of pain impaled Deans head.

Castiel didn't stop. Whatever was forcing him to do this, it didn't stop have mercy. He kept beating up Dean, throwing punch after punch at his face, as if he hated everything the hunter stood for. Dean felt blood streaming, but the pain he felt didn't came from any physical hurt. It came from his heart, that felt more broken every time Cas' fist hit his head.  
"You want it?" Dean growled, not sure if he was talking to the Cas in front of him, or to the people who'd did this to his friend.  
Cas threw a dispassionate look at the tablet.  
"Take it!" Dean shouted. "But you're gonna have to kill me first. Come on, you coward. Do it. DO IT!" He was screaming now, screaming for the whole wide world to hear, 'cause what kind of world was it anyways if he was supposed to be killed by the only man, outside of his family, he cared about?

It didn't work. Cas threw another punch at Dean, who let out a soft yelp. He couldn't take this anymore. He started pleading.  
"Cas… This isn't you. This isn't you." Please let that be true.  
Cas raised his fist again.  
"Cas." Cas.  
"Cas." Dean couldn't see straight anymore, but he tried to reach out for the angel.  
"I know you're in there." Please.  
Cas raised the angel blade, ready for the final strike, his face blank.  
"I know you can hear me. Cas…" Dean heard his voice break.  
"It's me. We're family." Please don't leave me again. Not you too. "We need you." Stay, please. Dean closed his eyes. He didn't want to see that blade coming.  
"I need you, man." I love you.  
"Cas. I love you." Dean opened his eyes.

Castiel's arm trembled and he exhaled sharply. His eyes seemed to quickly focus and unfocuse.  
Dean held his breath, as Cas dropped the blade. The sound of it hitting the floor echoed through the entire crypt. He picked up the angel tablet.  
"Cas?" Dean realized it was hard to breath, and he could barely see.  
"Cas?" He asked again. Castiel reached his hand towards Dean, who felt a jolt of panic.  
"No. Cas. Cas!"  
Cas tenderly put his hand on the side of Deans head. His fingers were warm, and Dean gasped as he felt himself getting healed. He blinked a few times, trying to focus on the man in front of him, who looked sadder than Dean had ever seen him.  
"I'm so sorry, Dean," Cas said softly, trying not to meet his eyes. His hands were still trembling, and Dean wondered how much effort it was costing Cas not to fall back into Terminator-mode.  
But Dean Winchester wasn't one for chick-flick moments, and instead of asking him if he was okay, he shot a "What the hell just happened?" at the angel.

And Cas explained. When he was finished, Dean was quiet for a while. They were now sitting next to each other, leaning against a wall of the crypt. Castiel held the angel tablet in his lap, moving his fingers over it absentmindedly.  
"So, this Naomi…" Dean cleared his throat. "She's been controlling you since she got you out of Purgatory?"  
"Yeah," Cas answered softly. He still couldn't look at Dean straight. Angels might be bad at human emotions, but even Cas recognized his current feelings as guilt. So much guilt at what he'd done to Dean.  
"Well, what… what broke the connection?" Dean moved his head to the right, looking at Castiel, who was staring towards his lap.  
"I don't know. You, I guess." Cas shrugged, but he couldn't hide the way his cheeks turned red at that answer, and neither could Dean.  
"Ah."  
"Yeah."  
"I did mean it, you know," Dean said quietly. "I really did."  
Cas shot him a small smile. "Thank you, Dean. I'm so sorry."  
"You're supposed to say 'I love you too'," Dean spoke those last words very quickly, "but it's alright. It wasn't you. It's alright, Cas."

They fell silent again, but it was a different silence this time. One filled with possibilities and a future, instead of one with pain and regret.  
They still had to get out of there. They still had to finish the trials, and fix Sam. They still had to hide the tablet.  
But they weren't alone anymore.  
Dean slowly folded his fingers around Cas' still shaking hand, and squeezed softly.  
At least they had this.


End file.
